Are you ready to overcome perfectionism? It is a common issue many In Demand Women face and we want to help you kick your perfectionist-tendencies to the curb!
Girl, you have so much to offer to this world! Stop focusing on being perfect and start doing what makes you shine…. messiness and all!
If comparison is the thief of joy, then perfectionism is the enemy of progress
Have you struggled with perfectionism? Do you constantly feel the need to be “on”? Do you consistently find yourself in a pattern of ridiculous effort, self-criticism and then self-sabotage?
As an In Demand Woman you have a lot demands on yourself…mind, body and spirit. Those in your life know they can count on you when anything needs to get done. You count on you to do all the things.
What happens when you can’t do it perfectly? Do you fall apart? Do you spiral down a dark rabbit hole of despair? Do you rebel and fight against the current?
Let’s explore the idea of perfectionism and why it actually derails your progress rather than helping you get further along in life. At the end of the day, the question we all need to ask ourselves is, “Am I happy?” If the answer is along the lines of, “I’ll be happy when…” and then you imagine something being perfect, you are in pursuit of something that doesn’t exist.
When you are accepting of yourself and you lean in to your circumstances, you will find life to be more fulfilling and happy. It will not be perfect…and embracing that will give you ultimate freedom!
Where does the perfectionism stem from?
When did you start being a perfectionist? Really think back to the earliest moment in time you can remember focusing on something being perfect. Most likely you have a childhood memory that comes to mind. A time where you were either rewarded or disciplined for something being perfect or not.
As you remember that moment, think about what would have happened if the opposite outcome occurred. For instance, if you made “the perfect goal” in soccer and you were celebrated, making you feel so good inside, what would have happened if you had missed? You probably wouldn’t have been celebrated, but other than that, life would have continued.
Or if your memory is of a time when you ”failed” to be perfect and you experienced negative emotions such as disappointment in your self and disappointment from others. If you had done that thing perfect, would you have received more love? Would you have had increased self-esteem? Possibly…but you probably wouldn’t have learned from the experience the way you actually did.
By thinking through the times when you have striven for perfectionism and either hit it or missed it, you can start to see where the perfect outcome is truly irrelevant in the big picture of your self-worth, self-love and self-esteem.
Perfect is a myth
We want to encourage you to consider a different perspective on the idea of perfect. Perfect is a myth. Perfect is an illusion. Perfect doesn’t exist.
Now wait a second! How can perfect be a myth when it’s possible to get 100% on an exam, a ranking of 10/10 on a skill level or even winning a race?
Perfect is a myth because there is ALWAYS room for improvement.
Perfect is a myth because there is ALWAYS room for improvement, always room to learn and always room to grow. You just finished first place in a local 5K for your age group. Awesome! Is that the best time you can ever get on that race? Probably not. You could train harder, run faster or run a longer race and strive for a better pace time.
Life is about you vs. you. There is always room to grow…otherwise we would stagnate and shrivel up like old grapes. The idea of perfection means you can never improve. How boring would a life be where you can never improve?
Focus on progress not perfect
We know you are a goal-setting, goal-reaching woman. You manifest, you journal, you have big dreams that you are fulfilling. THIS is what life is about! Think about the excitement that flows through your entire body when you are working on a new goal.
You envision the goal. You start to plan out the ways to achieve it. You write down all the things that have to happen to make it come true. You meditate on it. You write about it in your journal. You post about it on Instagram to put it out in the Universe.
As the pieces start to come together you feel alive and exhilarated! You are literally fired up with warm energy that makes your soul light up. The journey feels fantastic and when you achieve your goal you celebrate loud and proud!
How did that journey feel? How can you take that experience to the next level and elevate yourself? Was your progress line linear or was it peaks and valleys?
Focus your mindset on the progress you experience along the way.
We want to challenge you to focus your mindset on the progress you experience along the way. Look at the progress you are making and celebrate what you learn from those peaks and valleys. Yes, you are celebrating reaching your goal. But truly, what you are celebrating is your progress along the way and the process you experienced to get there.
When you focus on the journey, the actual outcome becomes less important. The lessons you have learned from making progress along the way is what will propel you to grow and achieve more going forward.
The perfect outcome loses its luster and yet you are shining brighter than ever!
When you give up the notion of perfectionism being the ultimate goal, a huge weight will be lifted off your shoulders. The freedom you will feel because you are enjoying the moments is essential to your overall well-being and self-acceptance.
Changing your personal narrative from one where you feel like you constantly have to be perfect is HARD AF! If you are one of the few that don’t battle perfectionist ideals, consider yourself very lucky.
You are imperfect, just as is everyone else.
For those of you who fight with this regularly, we want to help shed light on why being perfect is not the answer. We want you to feel free to be you. You are imperfect, just as is everyone else.
Embrace the imperfections and learn and grow from them. Tell yourself this affirmation:
I am not perfect.
I am a work in progress.
I am growing and learning daily.
I will have my ups and downs along the way.
As I dance through life I will enjoy the moments.
Perfect is not my truth. Progress is my goal and I’m loving the journey.
In conclusion, we want to remind you that you are worthy of living your best life. It’s not a perfect life. It’s a messy journey!
You will have good hair days and bad ones. You will have super “on” moments and others where you just want to curl up in the fetal position and hide. You will fail. You will win. You will experience it all.
Focus on your path. Focus on your journey. Learn from the downs, push yourself harder when you win. Ditch the idea that you are perfect. Embrace your freedom and be your own hero!
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