Does this scene sound familiar? It’s Friday night, and a group of women are getting ready to hit the town for “Ladies Night Out”. Friday night is code for DANCING!!! As in, the ladies better step up their wardrobe game because they are hitting the dance clubs after a nice dinner.
At about 4:30p the text messages start coming in:
Friend 1: “And the question I always ask…what’s everyone wearing?”
Side bar…code for “How slutty are you all dressing because I don’t want to show up in jeans if everyone else is wearing a dress.”
Responses go as follows:
Friend 2: “Likely pants and a tank if I don’t look like too much of a stuffed sausage. Today’s FUPA size will be the deciding factor.”
Friend 1: “Shut-it girl! You are hot AF!”
Friend 1: “I hate wearing pants because I get too hot, but a dress in my current ‘less than stellar’ size may not be a possibility.”
Friend 2: “You are beyond gorgeous babe! And I just put on my sundress thing and I can make it work if put some paint on the old barn.”
If you can relate to this situation, you might also be asking yourself this question, “Why we are so hard on ourselves regarding our outwards appearance, but so uplifting and positive for our friends?” Why can’t we compliment ourselves and feel good about our bodies regardless of current size/shape and in fact, feel the need to put ourselves down to our friends? Does it make us feel better when we shoot ourselves down? Do we feel guilty because we don’t look a certain way that we think others expect us to look?
Being satisfied with your own body image is not easy. Women tend to struggle with this more than men. Perhaps it is American culture that tells women we all have to look like Victoria’s Secret runway models (stick thin with unnaturally large breasts). Perhaps it is pressure from our families or friends. Perhaps it is because we are told as women that we are not worthy if we are not pretty or thin enough. How often have you walked past a mirror or your reflection in a store window to find yourself sucking in your gut? But going through life with the burden of perfection based on societal, family or just personal pressure is not a healthy way to live!
Here’s the truth sister: we need to lift ourselves up just like we do for our friends, our sisters. We need to tell ourselves we are hot AF, beautiful, sexy…all the things! We need to say it out loud…even when we don’t always believe it…because if we don’t love ourselves mind, body and soul, how can we expect anyone else to?