No more excuses!
“I can’t lose weight… it doesn’t matter what I do, my body can’t take the weight off.”
“I can’t get promoted at work… there is too much competition.”
“I can’t make solid friendships… other people just don’t want to commit.”
Do these excuses sound familiar? Have you ever muttered the words “I can’t” followed by some arbitrary reason you aren’t hitting the goal you desire?
Be honest! We have ALL DONE IT! Yep, it’s part of being human!
However, we want to start changing that behavior so that you can truly OWN your decisions and kick ass at everything you want to achieve in life.
Yes! EVERYTHING is possible… you just have to WANT it bad enough. And you have to be ready to prioritize what is important to you in that moment.
Are you ready to step up to the BEST version of you and OWN your sassy life?
Keep reading and let’s start making a mindset shift that will rock your world!
It’s time to get real…
Think about the last time you muttered the words, “I can’t”. Now, consider whatever it was you said you couldn’t do. Were you physically, emotionally or otherwise unable to do the thing? Or were you just unwilling to do it?
The first step to stop making excuses is… to stop making excuses! Own the fact that you are capable of doing whatever it is, but you just don’t want to. At least in that moment.
Let’s take this common example… “I can’t workout.” You’ve said this, we have all said this. Is it that you could not move your body? If you are injured and immobile…then this is a true statement! But if you are just not exercising because you don’t want to… well that’s a completely different situation.
The first step to stop making excuses is… to stop making excuses!
Change that statement to “I don’t want to workout.” Ah ha! Now we are being honest! Great… you don’t want to work out. But you say you want to lose weight and get healthy. Now you have to dig a little deeper and figure out what is holding you back from moving your body. Do you have a fear-monster getting in the way? It might be time for some self-reflection to conquer that fear.
If you use the words “can’t” when you truly mean “won’t”, then you are using an excuse to get yourself off the hook. When you own up and say “won’t”, you acknowledge that it is not a priority in that moment. AND THAT IS FINE! But if you are truly serious about reaching your goal… you are going to have to shift your priorities to make that “won’t” an “I WILL”.
From excuses to accomplishments
Once you start owning your intentions and deciding what it is you are willing to do and what it is you are unwilling to do, it is so much easier to reach your goals. Further, you can start to figure out which goals are a priority in your life.
As an In Demand Woman, you are a high achiever. You want to be the best. You want to do all the things. You want to succeed and feel proud and be recognized for your greatness.
But you can’t do everything all at once! You can’t be on an intense health journey, working your ass off for a big promotion and seeking out the love of your life all at the same time. You can spend time on all of these things to some extent simultaneously, but you have to prioritize them in the moment so you know where you can spend your maximum energy.
Let’s assume that your health journey is the most important to you in the moment. If that is true, then your number one priorities are going to be focused around your nutrition, your exercise and your mental well-being. Activities that support these priorities are going to come first when you are deciding how to spend your time.
Therefore, if your best friend starts inviting you out to singles’ nights and speed dating events several night a week, you most likely won’t have as much time for those activities while that’s not your number one priority. So instead of telling your bestie, “I can’t make it tonight to the speed dating event”, say something more honest like, “I won’t be going to the speed dating event tonight because I have a commitment to myself to workout at the same time.”
By focusing your time, energy and self-awareness on what is important to you in the moment, you are likely to reach your goals faster because you won’t get distracted along the way. And don’t forget, your priorities will shift over time. So while your relationship goals might be currently in the number 3 position on your priority list, next month, it might move up to number 1 and that is perfectly OK.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing
To clarify, we are not suggesting that you operate with a single focus in mind all the time. Reality check—In Demand Women prefer to multi-task and are multi-passionate!
Just because you have your goals prioritized and you know what is your number 1 focus in the moment, doesn’t mean you have to ditch everything else in your life. This is where moderation comes in to play!
Sticking with our health journey example, when you are primarily focused on your health journey, that will guide your decision making process 75% of the time. However, you are always happiest when you live a well-rounded life and you never want to end up feeling resentful of the goal you are working on. Talk about a recipe for disaster!
You are always happiest when you live a well-rounded life and you never want to end up feeling resentful of the goal you are working on.
Make sure you make time for the other priorities in your life. Go with your BFF to that speed dating night once in a while (just not every night). Volunteer to take on a project at work (just not one that will take over your life). Spend time with friends and family (you can’t just exist in a silo right?).
Moderation and balance are key to feeling the best, being happy and thriving in all aspects of your life. In fact, when you spend a portion of your time doing things that aren’t directly related to your number 1 priority, you are likely to feel more motivated when you focus on it again.
In conclusion
Here’s the bottom line: if you want to achieve your goals, you are going to have to put in the work. As Marie Forleo says, “If it’s important to you, you’ll make time. If it’s not, you’ll make an excuse.”
We want to encourage you to start being honest with yourself. Decide what it is you want and stick to it! Stop using the word “can’t” when in fact you mean “won’t”. Own your decisions, focus on what is important to you in the moment and practice moderation so you love your life!
By the way, remember that classic scene in Sex and the City when Burger breaks up with Carrie on a post-it note? “I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me.” Perhaps he should have been more honest…. It wasn’t that he COULDN’T date her, but that he just didn’t WANT TO. That level of honesty would have saved our girl a whole lot of heartbreak!
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