Whether you’ve been together for a few days or decades, it never hurts to ask, “How can my relationship be better?”  You know the big keys to success in relationships (communication, trust, honesty, etc.), but here are four ways to fine-tune your bond.

Say “I love you” as much as possible

You can never say “I love you” enough.  Say it to your kids, your friends, your parents, and especially to your significant other.  Don’t just say it when you go to bed; say it when your partner least expects it.  Driving in the car together, at the kids’ soccer game, during that 20 second pause between Netflix episodes, when you wake up, while they’re mindlessly scrolling through their phone…you get the idea.  Get creative and throw a note in their lunch or send them an animated GIF on their phone.  You don’t have to incorporate all of these ideas in one day, but make sure your partner knows that “I love you” isn’t just another thing you say out of routine.

Say “thank you” even for the smallest acts of kindness

Don’t you just love when people appreciate and acknowledge the nice things you do?  I bet you do; and so does your partner!  Saying “thank you” is the quickest way to recognize that your partner did something that pleased you.  It might be their “job” to pick up the kids from school, to take out the trash, buy the groceries, or walk the dog, but thanking them for doing each of those tasks makes your partner feel valued and important.

Tell your partner what you need…and be specific!

You’ve heard it before: people can’t read minds.  Even though we all know this intuitively, we often avoid telling our partners what we need more or less of from them.  Take a moment and really think about what you need from your partner.  Maybe it’s more affection.  What does that look like?  Hand-holding, hugs, cuddling, massages, kissing, sex?  Once you nail down exactly what you need (i.e. I need more kissing) then let your partner know in a nice way (i.e. I would love it if we kissed more!  What do you think?).  Be sure to ask them what they need from you too.

Laugh together often

Laughing just feels good!  When you laugh together, you are not only having fun, but creating memories.  Find a funny show, look up funny videos on YouTube, play a game, or go to a comedy club.  If you have funny friends or family members, hang out with them too.  If you’ve been bored in your relationship or have run out of interesting things to talk about, sharing a laugh should help.

What are your best tips for having an awesome relationship?  Let us know!

Kelsie Grau lives and works in the beautiful city of Santa Barbara. She loves taking spin classes, lifting weights in the gym, hiking, cooking new recipes, and binge-watching shows with her fiance and puppy. She believes that being authentic, courageous, and confident are some of the keys to staying sassy, healthy, and fit!